Summer

I have a headache
and the air stifles
keeping its relief
hidden above skys
heavy with fire
instead of rain.
I can’t breathe
in this heat
and even the night
stays too warm
for blankets.
I lie sweating,
trembling
with the temperature,
my bones brittle
in their skin
and cracking
against the hot,
while my thoughts
fade in and out
like heat shimmers
rising from pavement.

~Patience

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Night and Day

There are
these moments
of calm,
of peace
where the world
isn’t so loud
and the voices
whisper
instead of yell
and I hear a bird
and see the blue
of the sky
and think
that things
aren’t so bad,
here in this place,
this future
I don’t recognize,
but then slate clouds
chase the blue
from the sky,
banishing it back
to the day
and allowing
the night
to creep in
on quiet feet,
stepping its way
into my bones
and telling me
things are not
like they are
in the day.

~Patience

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Edges

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I used to love
your raw edges,
your roughness
and your gruff.
I liked to touch them
with soft fingers,
smooth them down,
and round them off.
But they’ve forgotten my hands
like clay left alone on a wheel,
and hardened into cracks
I cannot repair.
These jagged pieces of you
keep slicing apart my memories
until the tatters swirl
in the dusky light
of a forgotten day.

* * *

Oops! I forgot to say this is day three of the three quotes in three days challenge. Today, I nominate F.G.M. I love this blog and his poetry! Hope you do too!

~Patience~

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Blue Castles

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Photo Credit: dominique-merot at deviantart.com

These blue and white castles
glitter in the dark distance
and I calculate the time
it would take to get there.
My feet burn on the sandy shore
while I decide whether or not to run,
and the vacillation
sends waves of want and worry
through these feet
that are glued to the ground.
The spokes of time
keep spinning like empty clocks
and the sun sets and rises
in the same instant,
and the castles grow smaller.
I can see them fading
into the rocks,
shedding their battlements
in exchange for nature.
The night chases the day
behind the mountains
and I am salt and stone
lashed to beaches
made of memory and music
I have yet to hear
while you stand
in your castle window
and wave at the sun.

~Patience~

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Because

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I can’t stop missing you.
It’s certified obsession
on the deepest level
because I can’t stop
even though I know I should.
You are everywhere,
in between the cracks
and around mundane corners
and behind closed doors
and I can’t stop missing you.
My skin crawls
with the need to hear
your whispers,
your midnight devotions
because I can’t stop missing you,
but the missing is in vain.
My mouth is closed,
empty as your ears,
so I write in silence
because I can’t stop missing you.

* * *

This is day two of the three quotes in three days challenge. Today, I nominate Antanya who has been one of my most devoted followers. Hope you enjoy!
~Patience~

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An Ending

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I’ve been searching
for our happy ending
like it’s an inevitability
instead of a mirage
in the midst of a sand storm.
You are all at once
a memory
and as tangible
as these poems I spin,
and the happy
in our ending
was only a pretty dream
because the ending
was more sad
and not really an ending at all.
It was a wave
and a phone call
and a deletion of feelings
we shouldn’t have,
a push-down
of that loss-pain
to the deepest parts of forgetting
so I know happy
is not what it will ever be.
It will be messy
and muddled
and all but beauty
until it’s not,
until the blue in the sky
reflects the ending
we were always
meant to have.

* * *

I was challenged by Beth Joy to post three quotes in three days. I often use quotes as poetic inspiration, so that’s my plan here. I’m also supposed to thank the person who nominated me, so thanks! And I’m supposed to nominate three others. I’ll nominate one person per day, so today I nominate Christopher Rupley, one of my most favorite blogger friends I’ve met on WordPress. The quote and pic were found on Facebook and they are ones I’ve posted or will be posting on my Facebook page. Enjoy!

~Patience~

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Two Years

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Lightning-flash speed
and two years are gone
just like the two before them
where I wrote you letters
while pretending to write a novel
(okay, I wrote 100 pages)
and waited for a message
that only came once.
And the eight before that
where I wondered
if you thought about me
but was too afraid
to call or write
so I replaced
the irreplaceable.
Or those first two years
where we talked every week
and I wrote (and sent!)
dozens of letters
until the day you said to come.
These are the anniversaries
I celebrate
because these are the ones
I had with you.

* * *

Today is my two year anniversary with WordPress.  Above is how I’m feeling about it. Enjoy! :)

~Patience~

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This Road is a Trap

There is this road
that leads to you.
It’s tangled with life
and lovely traps.
It seduces
with promised endings
that are more happy
than sad
all the while
slicing away pieces
of who I thought we were.
Its bridges are broken
and crumbling into nothing
and the gray sky
screeches out
against the light
that was never really there,
yet I would walk
on bloody feet,
run through thorns
and shattered glass
hoping the promises are real.
It shows enough beauty
to coerce and cajole me
into believing
the dark can fade to light
and all the while
wicked vines twist
around my wrists
and bind me to the dirt.
I believe I’m running
yet the quicksand
sticks me to the ground,
yanking me hard
to the muddy ground
which is a swamp
instead of a road
and I am stuck
instead of free.

~Patience~

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Glaciers

Vast reservoirs of doubt,
big black holes of empty
overflowing with full,
damage this white memory,
this pure image
of our fingers twined
as we held raging seas at bay.
My memory
keeps capping
like glaciers losing limbs
to the icy depths
of ocean graves
and I don’t know
what’s real anymore.
Imagining your eyes
creates blank spaces
filled up with fantasy
because it has been so long
that I can no longer be sure
of their color.
I want to send you
these aching words
so that you might ache with me,
so that I know
you want to remember
all the things we’ve forgotten
but I know your ears
are as closed as your lips
so I keep shouting
into the darkness
hoping to fill the void
with the letters of my heart.

~Patience~

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Thousands

I have kissed you
a thousand times
in my sleep.
Underneath willow trees
and below billowing winds,
I’ve touched you
a thousand times.

A thousand times
we’ve walked over
crashing waves
and across white peaks,
and a thousand times
I’ve heard your voice
in my dreams.

And although I’ve spent
a thousand hours
imagining your eyes
and written
a thousand words
to illustrate the world
with my love,
a thousand
will never be enough.

~Patience~

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