I’m Lying To You

 

Photo Credit: alchialternative.com

Photo Credit: alchialternative.com

 

I always seem to hide

who I really am,

what I really think,

where I really want to go.

Lies weave through

my day

with legs of their own.

They waltz through my day

performing death-defying

acts of fiction.

I plaster on

fake smiles

and faux laughs,

hoping that the blind

will stay blind,

that my façade will stay

solid,

that no one will

see the cracks that

spider out from

the center of my soul.

Don’t we all hide,

wear masks,

and prevent others from knowing

the realness of who we are?

Are we not all actors

playing the role of a lifetime

as the hero in our own story?

If our followers,

our friends,

our families

knew our bloody

and raw

and torrid

insides,

would they still love

us the same?

Or would our truth

convince them that

the mask is better

than the honesty?

When we bear our

truths,

why are we suddenly

ashamed of who

we really are?

I lie every day.

I’m lying to you right now

because you don’t know

me, not the true me,

not the me that walks

hand in hand

with insecurity

and falsehood.

Not the me that

hates her hair,

her body,

her fingers,

her heart for loving

someone she shouldn’t.

You don’t know how I lie

every day to those who

say they love me

because I’m too afraid to

tell myself the truth

out loud,

for all to hear.

I paint myself

with a smile and pretend

to be strong

and whole

when the only way I can be

whole is to hold his

hand in mine,

to feel his fingers press into

my skin,

to trace the tattoos that

are emblazoned in my mind.

This is my lie.

That I love when I should forget,

that I want when I can’t have,

that my dreams are sinful.

I lie every day,

but don’t we all?

 

 

Daily Writing Prompt–Pants on Fire

 

 

 

 

(By the way, readers old and new, this is my 100th post since I began my blog.  A big thank you to all my followers!  Since I was Freshly Pressed, I’ve had over 2000 views and gained exactly 200 followers.  Who knew so many people would want to read the ramblings that flow from my brain and out my fingertips.  I appreciate all of your support and I so enjoy reading and discovering all of your unique voices.  Thanks again!)

16 thoughts on “I’m Lying To You

  1. Happy 100th post! I think its because people can relate to your ramblings? I personally can. You are so good at playing with words that you can always express the feelings I want to express myself.

    Like

    • That’s exactly why I like WP! I can say what I want without judgement, and if someone wants to judge, I don’t have to listen or respond. That’s also what’s great about anonymity.

      Like

  2. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Pants on Fire | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss

    • Thank you! I know that I don’t know myself. I think that’s what life is–an adventure in finding ourselves. Even when we are old and gray, I think there is always more to learn about who we are and what we desire. The trick is to be honest with ourselves and make sure that we try to be true and not let the opinions of others change us. I’m still learning how to do this. 🙂

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