What’s the Point?

 

Photo Credit: catholiclane.com

Photo Credit: catholiclane.com

 

Haunted.

I am haunted,

chased by ghosts

of a past that

is gone,

of a future that

will never be.

My sister

told me that

I should find happiness

even if that means

changing my life

drastically,

leaving all of the people

I know and love

behind.

She said that love is

possible

if I look.

But not with Johnny.

Why should I try

if I can’t hold

his hand,

bite his lip

as we wrap ourselves

in passion

and flames?

What is the point of

finding a love

that shines in tones of gray

when I once had a love

that glowed in

reds

yellows

greens

blues

all the colors

of life?

What is the point

if it’s not his hand,

his mouth,

his voice,

his touch?

There isn’t one

without him.

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5 thoughts on “What’s the Point?

  1. There’s only one you. That is the point…she is right, your sister.

    Imagine a girl…who did the same, as him, only she came with her smile, and her things and her love…and then one day you came home and walked up that long drive to the tall windows and she was gone. Would you learn then? Would you see?

    It has been 15 years and yes, I still love her…but who said loving someone means you will be together? You can’t make up their mind no matter how much you love.

    Now I have a wife and two beautiful children…and it’s true, sometimes I can’t get her out of my head, but I can’t imagine for a minute that any love could compare to those little footsteps down the hall.

    and, imagine then, Johnny were a father, and he left his child for 12 years, maybe a little girl writing letters…is that love?

    Your sister is right.

    You are more precious than the love you are waiting for…one day, you will see that, and begin again.

    Until then…you remind me of that Morrissey song, you know the one…”The more you ignore me, the closer I get…” I really do love it.

    xo

    Like

      • I’ve been there love…I mean right there, exactly. And yes, my friends and my family (my sister actually) told me but maybe, well maybe, if someone who understood said the words I knew inside I would listen to myself and move on…instead of waiting longer to see the obvious.

        Someone told me once, ‘don’t be sorry, be sad.’ There is a difference. It’s OK to be sad and then get up and be you. I don’t mean find a new love, I mean love yourself first. Just you!! That is the magic…find the love inside yourself. Then one day…who knows.

        You may of course need a new website name… 😉 How about Love Letters to The New Brunette? I don’t know what color your hair is but Billy Bragg always had a way with girls and words. He did say, ‘she cut her hair and I stopped loving her…’

        Try writing about something you love like ice cream or papaya on a stick…try putting his things in a box (I always loved that one)…try dancing to old Smith’s songs…try looking in the mirror, you can’t hide from those eyes in poems and old letters. They know the truth like your sister does.

        It’s going to be ok.

        🙂

        Like

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