Breathe

 

Photo Credit: mezamero.deviantart.com

Photo Credit: mezamero.deviantart.com

 

I breathe in.

I breathe out.

I wait for the air

to become thinner,

to stop feeling so heavy.

I breathe

in and out,

taking in stagnation

and letting out something

that hasn’t changed.

How do people keep track?

I need compartments

in my head

to file away all

of these thoughts,

ideas,

responsibilities,

duties.

They just keep

sitting in my

inbox,

waiting to be read,

dealt with,

figured out.

The decisions

needing to be made

laugh in the face

of the decisions

I have no choice

to make,

the thousands of

decisions I make

for my students.

I have no decision-making

left when I get home,

but I am always the one

forced to decide.

I breathe in.

I breathe out.

The thick air becomes

heavier,

and heavier,

and thicker,

and more painful

to swallow.

My lungs are lead

and my feat are cement.

I don’t want to choose

between

you

him

them

me

us.

I just want to breathe

without an elephant

sitting on my chest,

weighing on my lungs

and my heart.

 

I just want to breathe.

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