Old Coat

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You are the home
I never knew
and my heart aches
with a sickness
for a place
that never was.
The memory plunges me
into watery nostalgia
that blurs the edges
of my world,
colors from the past
melding with imaginings
of a future
that spidered
and cracked
when my feet stepped away.
I live that life
when I close my eyes
and I play out conversations
that we would have had
over dinner.
This hiraeth,
this sickness in my bones
for the home I had
with your arms around me.
I fear I will live with it
because I must live
without you.
This grief,
this longing,
hangs on me
like an old coat,
suffocating my skin
in your memory.

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