Abandon

Love is utter abandon
of every bit
of logical sanity.
You speak
in a foreign language,
words spilling
from your tongue,
their meaning
lashing against the walls
encircling my heart.
This love dissolves
the bricks,
rivers of mortar
carving canyons
in the landscape
of my world.
The sky glows
with a new sort of infinity
and footsteps float
instead of fall.
The abandon is good.

But it changes,
grows dark and murky,
with loss.
The love recedes
and let’s go
and the abandon
is double edged.
You have destroyed
the promises and futures
by leaving me here
in this black cave
of longing.
And my abandon
has changed
into carelessly placed words
and opening windows too often.
You can see me
rebuilding my tower,
my fortress of stone.
My fingers are raw
and bleeding
from stacking.
Crimson pieces of my heart
stain the freshly crafted walls
built to keep you out.
But every night,
you can find me
abandoning my toil
so that I can peek through
the cracks
in hopes of glimpsing your face.