Pretend

Every song
rings out your name
and I wonder why
I put these sad memories
on my phone
in the first place.
I drown myself
in remembrances
so that I never forget
and then pretend
I’m trying to wipe you
from my thoughts
when I’m really
wallpapering your face
onto every lightpole,
on each radio station,
on every word
my fingers pen.
I say you hold me hostage
but it’s really me
refusing to let you
slip from my grasp.
I’m broken.
No one should be
this hard to let go
and yet I listen
to song after song,
lyrics filled
with your image
and your laugh
and your body gliding
across a darkened room.
Each note
becomes your fingers
on my skin.
Each key change,
your hot mouth
on mine. I pretend
I’m trying to forget something
that is a part of me.
Like I’m trying to forget
I don’t have two legs
or two arms
or two eyes.
I’m trying to be blind
when I can clearly see
that we are more than
music lyrics
and wordy poetry.
We are everything
that means anything
but I guess
I’ll just go on
pretending to forget.

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4 thoughts on “Pretend

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