Tears

Those moments
where I can’t stop
the tears
sneaking up
like a thief
and stealing the happiness
that bubbled
to the surface.
I’m grading papers
and a pit grows
like fire
in my stomach,
all hot
and sickening,
and I force
the tears
to stay inside
because I know
they will never stop
if I let them loose.
I push images
of your smile
and arms
and the feel
of your lips pressing,
greedy,
against my mouth.
I bury the moments
where I was yours.
I pummel them
with dirt and rocks
in hopes to hide
their flames of need,
but they rise
like a phoenix
and steal my reprieve.
And then I forget
once more,
busy myself
with daily chores.
Fold laundry,
wash dishes,
grade papers.
But it’s always
just under my skin,
hiding around
the next building
or down a random lane
of musical memories
pumped through
my car speakers.
You are there,
haunting
my every days
and hovering
inside my heart.
You come out
in tear-soaked pillows
and secret poems.
And you’re with me
in everything
and I am salt
and pain
without you.

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