Not

I know it’s impossible
to imagine an us
in a time of I
but I fight
because I know
how I feel
and that’s what matters.
And I will never forget
the way your vowels
roll off your tongue,
the way your consonants
reverberate off your vocal cords.
I struggle against
the forgetting
and the losing
so that I can keep you alive
somewhere here
instead of out there
where I am apart
and you are always too far.
And I love you
so I can’t give up.
You are my dreams
and fantasies
and the pieces
of who I am
and who I was,
so I keep fighting,
forcing my way back
through the current,
undertow pulling me below
and back down
to a place where
you are not.

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2 thoughts on “Not

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