I was listening to my ipod today when some sad and sappy lost love song came floating out of the speakers. I was driving, the hot air blowing through the car windows, and I was thinking of you. I do that when I drive–something about the wind in the windows and music I can sing to as I fly past hay fields and pine trees.
I was happy for a moment, reveling in the heat and the air and the music, the pavement stretching out its fingers in anticipation of the journey. Then the song…
A mack truck came out of nowhere and smacked into me. Spinning. Twisting. Head-on collision of pain.
“And I know in my heart of hearts that I’m never gonna hold you again.”
I shuddered, breath trapped like a rock lodged in my throat, and every moment was falling through my fingers, my heart clutching to hang on to memories and finding myself holding fragments of clouds instead.
I don’t know if it’s in my heart of hearts. But I feel you in my bones. You are every piece of who I am. So I drive and imagine you somewhere, three hours ahead in a time where I am always in the past and you are always in the future. I picture you in twilight while the sun shines high over my head and I drive, pretending you are my destination.