As a child, I learned that clenching my eyes against the scary would make it dissipate like fog on a windowpane. Now I close them against the things I cannot bear to see or remember. I still close my eyes tight, but now I’m trying to squeeze away your memory. I heard your laugh today, it’s tang and spice hiding amongst my trip home from the store. My eyes shut, a reflex that comes with seeing your face, and I almost crashed while clenching away at your memory. Childlike actions for childlike notions. I am doomed to a forever made from refocusing my thoughts, from clenching my eyes, from fighting against tears and loss and memory.