Failing

Breathe….let it go….breathe. Easier said than done. I’m full of clichés tonight it seems but I guess I’m just one big cliché anyway. I’m too sensitive and cry too easily. I’m filled with so much self doubt that I can’t imagine being good at  anything yet I know that’s bullshit. I can’t trust my own emotions in the real world yet I haven’t spoken to anyone about you in years. I talk here. And when the pain stings like millions of bees, like my blood has been leached from my veins, blood letting at its best, I do not cry….ever. Except in seclusion and only a few tears yet I weep when I fail in life. Maybe all this agony leaks out into reality which is why I’m so insecure, so desperate to be liked, to be the A student since I’ve always been an A student so how is it that I keep failing so miserably at life, at interacting with other humans? God, I’m a fucking mess.