Movie Love

I can’t watch
romantic movies
because they remind me
of you
and what we had,
could’ve had,
and what we lost.
I cry through them
most times
and feel the loss of you
all over again.
I have this illusion
that our love
could be like movie love,
that if things
were not the way they are
that you would
move the world
for just one touch
of my hand.
But who am I kidding,
right?
That’s why it’s the movies.
You won’t suddenly arrive
in time
to rescue me,
to shepherd me away
to some Endless Love romance.
Because movie love
isn’t real love
and I thought
we had a bit of real love,
the kind that makes
music rise and cities fall.
But,
apparently,
I have “real” love already.
The love
filled with fights
and irritations
and settling for less t
han I deserve
because I think
it’s what I deserve.
But,
when I watch movies,
I see glimpses
of how it really was
for those two weeks
where we had
a fictional sort of love
where risk
was just a word
and love
was all that mattered.

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