At Once

You are so fragile,
so broken already
that I couldn’t imagine
if you were to fall again.
Perhaps you would
shatter and splinter
all over the floor,
pools of pieces
scattered and ineffably ruined.
There you would stay,
fodder for soles
to crunch
under their heels,
and I wonder
how it is
that you look so strong
when you are really
just glass
waiting to be cracked
and discarded.
How do you stay
that man in my mind,
that man
who grabbed me
and pulled me to him
with hands
as well as voice?
How do I
at once
see you as power
and passion
but also pain
and fear?
Why is it
that we are always
two things
at once
but never just
clear person?
We are both broken
and whole
and it would be strange
to talk to you now,
to see you
in flesh and blood,
standing there
near enough to touch,
because we are
at once
those people we were
who called
and dreamed
and walked on beaches
and wrote love in the sand
but also these people
who know years
of without
and with other,
two people
who have lived a lifetime
wishing to go back
and to
at once
finally say



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