My favorite movie (don’t judge) is Reality Bites from 1994. I was a sophomore in high school and in love with Ethan Hawke. He plays a complete loser and honestly he was not a good choice, but it was the 90s and grunge. Enough said.
Anyway, at the end of the movie, after he is a complete douchebag to Winona Ryder, he shows up on her doorstep at the exact moment she’s running off to find him. And right here, this is the moment where he had me.
There he stood, sad and brimming with regret, and he says, “I’m sorry. I just thought you should know that I love you.”
Ok. He actually says it much more romantically because it obviously made me fall in love with him. I mean, how could I not? Bad Boy musician with an attitude who leaves the girl the night after.
Like I said, he’s a douchebag, but it’s here, right before bed as I channel-surf to the last thirty minutes of my favorite movie, that I realize my dreams, the romantic ideals I’ve created in my head about you and me and this lost love scenario, they are Reality Bites but sort of rewritten by my own life and imagination. Every time you write or call, every time I listen to one of those songs you can’t get out of your head, it’s like Troy professing his love at Laney’s doorstep.
All I’ve ever been waiting for is you to stand there and tell me you love me, for it to be you coming back instead of me using my dreams to chase after you. Or writing these poems in hopes that they change things. Just once, I want you to be brave enough to say it first.
I guess I’m calling this a letter because it’s definitely not poetry. And if you don’t appreciate Reality Bites, I suggest you reevaluate your choice in movies. Haha! I’m just kidding! But seriously, even though it’s sort of over done and completely 90s, I loved it then and love it now. No judgements! 🙂