Pain Manifested

I doubt
you ever loved me.
When my self esteem plummets
and I can’t bear
to look in the mirror,
I imagine
that you never really loved me,
that I was a distraction
or a pastime,
a toy you played with for awhile
until you lost interest.
Like love was a novelty for you,
something you didn’t need
or couldn’t handle.

I think these things
until I remember
you asking me to come,
taking care of everything
I could ever need,
saving my letters,
slow dancing
on your bedroom floor.
I remember
your mom finding my letters
and telling you to write
and the music of longing
that echoes from your guitar strings.

I remember these things
and think that maybe
you really did love me,
that all the silence is really
just pain manifested,
that you do feel
just as deeply as I do.




2 thoughts on “Pain Manifested

  1. I felt this was honest. The way the pain of missing something special just grows to some kind of doubt. I enjoyed the emotional context, it flowed really well for me. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

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