Silenced

Words have always been easy for me.
I don’t struggle
to find voice
or substance
in my speech,
my language,
but I’ve learned to watch my words,
be careful,
mindful
because my words influence,
impact,
initiate thought in others.
My job has changed my voice,
silenced me the way time has,
the way relationships have.
People with their views and opinions,
this need to fight
while staying away,
hiding behind buttons,
their silence,
they have quieted
my words,
my voice.
I’m afraid of what will happen
if I speak,
if I say what is in my beating heart,
my bleeding heart.

But they are not only to blame.

You see,
I learned this from you.
I strip myself bare for you,
show you all my inside pieces,
and you never answer back.
Your silence has taught me silence.
Now I scream in anonymity
because I can’t be sure
what will happen if I’m heard.
I speak
but no one I know can
hear,
listen,
understand.
They get the control,
the reason.
You get shouts into darkness
that will never be answered.

~Patience

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7 thoughts on “Silenced

  1. watch the face of anyone, and you can’t see this scream that you are writing about. watch again. nothing. now, try to listen. as if you were here only for that person. listen. listen again. in ten minutes, you will start to hear it, in the beginning very quietly, almost silently. listen again. again. suddenly there it is. a big shout. explosion. perhaps a tear, only after. and a big smile. we have been human. thank you for your words.

    Liked by 1 person

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