Problems

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Photo Credit: LittleRedRidingHoody at deviantart.com

There’s a problem.
Have I told you the problem?
If you’re reading this,
if you’ve been reading me
for any amount of time,
you know part of the problem.
But it’s more than just
missing, loss, absence.
It’s more than those problems.

It’s that no matter how much I write,
no matter how much I say,
the words are not enough.
My words are not enough
without your words
lying next to them.
I can say these things
again and again,
but they are not enough
without a response.
They are not enough.

I’ve tried to write you,
message you,
call you,
but you won’t talk back.
You shadow yourself
in silence,
in half statements,
and in jaded longings
that I can’t interpret.
I just need one more shot
but I’m not sure how to get it.
I wish someone would
tell you or show you,
just so that you know,
so that you see,
so that these words
will finally be enough.

***

I’m having these weird moments lately where it all feels so close, so tangible. Like I can hear the waves crashing, the steel drums tinkling, the raucous sound of your laughter. I can almost feel you now, but I have no words, no release, no respite or answers, only quiet longing, invisible need aching through my bones, so I write to quench but only grow thirstier.

~Patience

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