Crumbling Illusions

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Photo Credit: Cernobyte at deviantart.com

You are this figment,
this echo repeating my name.

I see you in shadows,
in haunted roads
and invisible moments
forgotten along with the past.

My life is lived
in this insane retrospect
because its prospects
are so undefined,
so abstract and ambiguous.

I look ahead
by looking behind
and it’s turning me
into a crazy person.

Lock me up!

I’m dangerous to myself
and all these people who love
this me I’m not really
because I don’t know
what the real me is.

Does anyone?

I envy those people,
the 26 year old
millionaires or moguls.
The ones who’ve written
their life’s works,
married their true loves,
while I’m wasting away
wondering if
I should have dreams at all.

Yet I dream and
flounder and
choose wrong
again and again
until all I see
are illusions
and fictions I’ve built
brick by brick,
memory by memory,
and I watch
as they all crumble
around me.

~Patience

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