Disaster

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Photo Credit: larafairie at deviantart.com

I’m a big fucking joke,
one giant farce
on top of another.

I’m so needy
and silent
about it
until I explode
in a deluge
of hot tears
that lay waste
to my face
and my soul.

I’m a joke
and these poems
are evidence
of my distinct failure

to be,

to exist
in a world
where I can reconcile
one self
with another.

You shouldn’t
listen to me,
read me,
care about me
because I don’t
deserve it.

I’m a living disaster
stumbling into
all your little towns,
spreading my disease
to your hearts
just as it spread
to mine,
just as it infected
my footsteps
and sentences,
just as it tattooed
“not good enough”
to my forehead
and watched
as I imploded.

***

Another day, another poem.

~ Patience

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6 thoughts on “Disaster

  1. I love that you had the courage to be open enough to write this honestly. Though i have to say, of all your words these may be the least true. You are not a joke, or a disaster. Not by any means. The words to this piece could not be any further from the truth. Stay strong. peace & love

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Much like Antanya In The Fog, I can’t ‘like’ this piece because I have read too many of your poems to believe you are anything other than a beautiful soul working their way through pain. You may feel like a disaster, you may feel like a joke – but you are anything but those things. You are an incredible person who is coming to terms with where they are in this world and using your talent to do so. Stay strong. Know that you’ve touched on the lives of others who are in this spiral with you; know that you have helped them with your words; know that you are worthy, no matter what you may feel at any given moment. xoxo

    Liked by 2 people

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