Two into Three

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Photo Credit: DrumsOfWar at deviantart.com

How does one
reconcile
one life from another,
a dream versus a fantasy,
a want over a need?

How can I say
I am in one place
and also another?
Or three places,
really.

Here,
where I sit
in the comforts
of home.

There,
with you
on a beach
under glowing rays.

There,
with him,
stretched out in desire,
waiting for his instructions.

These desires
feel so separate,
so apart from each other
that I’m unsure
how they can exist
inside me
at the same time.

How do I choose
one over the other,
right from wrong,
good from bad
when they all feel
so good,
so right,
so immediate
and necessary
and exactly
what I need?

I want home comfort
and true love
and hard sex
but from different people.

I want real
and past
and fantasy
but I can’t find it
together.

It’s not that way.

How is it
that I’m okay
with that?

What does
that say
about me?

***

This is pretty raw and honest for me. Please be gentle with your reactions.

~ Patience

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