Deprivation

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Photo Credit: LittleFlair at deviantart.com

I’m in training.
I can feel my will
bending in awkward directions,
my mind kneeling
in front of you.

You want me to crave you,
to deny myself for you,
to punish myself for you.
You want me
to let you consume me,
tear me up from the inside.
You want me
to want you
to devour me.

So your silence is strategic,
a game,
a weapon
to bind me
to your will,
a tool
to manipulate me,
willing or not.

You’re doing this
to torture me.

How is it
that I feel
anxious,
lost,
helpless
without your voice
guiding me,
commanding me?

You’ve gone
and I’m sad,
so desperately sad
which doesn’t make sense.
I don’t love you.
I don’t think I ever have.

But I need to please you.
I need to do as you desire,
but you’re gone
and it’s punishment
and I know that.

Your sway has always been
my most challenging obstacle.
I have always done as you desired.

Now here we are.
I am under you again,
right where I’ve always
wanted to be,
kneeling at your feet,
waiting for permission,
waiting for your voice
to pull me out of the chaos.

~Patience

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7 thoughts on “Deprivation

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