Lunch Date: A Conversation in My Head 

“I was thinking about something you said.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. You asked if we’d ever been just friends, and I’ve been thinking about that.”

“And what have you concluded?”

“I think we’ve always been whatever this is. I mean, when I first met you, I was attracted to you. I remember that.”

“So do I.”

“I remember being around you a lot, and then I remember this.”


“Yes. This thing we have where we say but don’t do, talk but don’t move. This ever-present feeling of anticipation. This more than just friends thing we have. I don’t think we’ve ever been just friends.”

“It took you a long time to realize that.”

“I know.”

“So what now?”

“I’m not sure. I know you’ve left a void and he’s sort of filling it.”

“That’s dangerous, you know?”

“I know.”

“You’re going to do it anyway?”

“Maybe. Probably. It’s not like I can have you.”

“Who said you can’t?”

“You did.”

“Maybe we couldn’t have that, but maybe we can still be something.”

“What? More than friends?”

“Haven’t we always been?”


Tomorrow, I’m having lunch with someone who has always held a place inside me. We are tumultuous and dangerous together, and I thought it would be one way until we spoke today. Now, I’m unsure what to expect. This is my way of releasing my expectations so that I can be open to reality.




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