Uphill

I’ll never learn
to stop spilling
all these crass piles
of cradled thoughts
that bottle-feed me
portions of my past self.

I’ll never try
to stop writing
these slippery lines
of stubborn verse
that fill me
with vacant memories
of times when I knew myself,

or try to escape
the jagged moments
I pressed control,
alt,
delete
when my hands
were frozen
to my
branched-out pain,

*system reboot*

yet it somehow remains
in a murky pool of
washed-up contempt,
and dandelion wallpapers
clinging to the
digital venom that’s
choking the life
from me –

from all the
lost chances
and icy minutiae
of indecision.

I’m bare,
open,
ready in my resolve
to move,
to run,
to go
even when forward
seems lost,
and the moments
beyond screech wildly
for me to find
my spine.

I will search
even when the agony
buries me
in fuzzy pieces
of the past,
and the weight
of fear smothers
my indifference.

I will not burn out.

***

This is a collaborative piece between me and my talented friend, Christopher Rupley. He is one of the most amazing writers I know, so check him out.

~Patience 

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