Helpless

It’s a burden
to know
as much as I do.
I can see my faults,
all the flaws,
the bad choices,
the negativity
that has led me here.

I see it.

I know the broken pieces.
I can feel them in my hands,
and I know how to fix them.

But I can’t.

And it’s a burden
to know why
I can’t sew these fragments
together.

It’s a burden
to know how
to heal the broken
and to not be able to.

The knowledge is heavy
and it makes
the useless
feel more so.

I think you’ll heal me
when I know only
I can do that.

I know that leaving
could fix this
but I think someone else
should be the catalyst
when I know it must be me.

I know but I don’t
all at once,

so the knowledge
hangs on me
while it hangs me,
it’s weight
bearing me onward
while it drags me down.

~Patience

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