Zero

What am I supposed to do?
It’s fucked.
The whole thing.

You want black and white,
and give me only gray,
yet I’m to choose.

This or that.
All or nothing.

And I want all,
but fear bites
at my heels
and you provide

zero comfort.

Your idea
of reassurance
is silence,
and anxiety
suffocates me
when you
go black.

But you don’t care,

so how am I
supposed to trust
you to keep me,
appreciate me,
ease me
when I’m scared?

What you ask is
not easy,
not simple,
and your ambiguity is

all I see.

How am I to know
the right answer?

You say impulse,
and my instincts say

submit,

but my brain says
you are asking too much
without enough clarity.

No contracts so no rules,

but I need the rules.
Without them, I am lost.

~Patience

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