The ache radiates
from unknown
places, and I’m not
sure what I’ve
become because I’m sad
for losing something I should
never have wanted,
something I shouldn’t

Something is
broken inside me, falling
into dark shadows toppling
through shattered
windows or doors or something
I’m not sure how to name.

But now I’m making no
sense, no literal
words I’m writing can
possibly describe the absolute
chaos I feel for
wanting something so
ridiculous and dangerous
and perfect.

I hate myself.
As always.

I miss you.
As always.


One thought on “IDK

  1. While it’s convenient to say you were silly for trying to gain something wonderful, because you feel like you are bad, or not worth it – ultimately it isn’t true.

    You have worth. Just because it did not work for you this time, does not mean it cannot work. Just because the risk didn’t pay off, equally it did not mean it was not worth your time and effort. Unfortunately this is simply the definition, of risk.

    Recuperate. Take time to recover. To lick your wounds. But understand this, you are not alone. You are worth it, for the fact you are unique, itself.

    If you feel broken, remember Kintsugi; which is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold to remind the user that there is much beauty in something that has been broken, and that it is still worth keeping.

    Take care, and if you do feel alone, I am here.

    Liked by 1 person

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