15 Years

How do you live with someone
for 15 years
and they still don’t seem
to notice you?

Like,
they see you,
talk to you,
touch you occasionally,
but they don’t actually see you.

When they look at you,
it’s as if you were everything,
but they don’t actually know you,
the real you,
the pieces you hide
because you’re
scared or
ashamed or
worried
the brokenness will
disrupt,
corrupt,
interrupt
the love.

But isn’t this what they should notice?

Shouldn’t he touch me
and realize the distance
even though we are together?
Shouldn’t he see the ache in my eyes
and wonder what’s wrong,
what’s different?

Fifteen years
and I’m sure he has no clue
I’m dreaming of lives I could live
in other places with other people.

He doesn’t realize how tenuous
this all is,

but shouldn’t he?

~Patience

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