Judgement: A Conversation in My Head 

“Why do you care what people will think?” “I can’t help it. It’s who I am.” “Explain.” “Explain what?” “How is it who you are?” “I’m anxious, worried. Always. Since I was little. I worry what people think, if I’m good enough, if people like me. I can’t stop it. No matter how hard I […]

Return: A Conversation in My Head 

“Why are you back?” “What do you mean? I never left.” “Yes, you did. You left that day in the hotel. You said it was done. Never again. I’m pretty sure those were your exact words.” “Things change.” “That’s a non-answer.” “Fair enough.” “I fucking hate when you say that.” “I know.” “So, tell me […]

Crazy–A Conversation in My Head 

“What are we doing here?” “I don’t know. It’s fucking crazy. That’s all I know.” “I know it is. So why? Shouldn’t we be running the other way, swimming upstream instead of letting the rapids pull us under?” “Yeah, but we’re not. Falling is much easier than fighting. I should know.” “You’ve been fighting your […]

Gone–A Conversation in My Head

“It’s gone. All of it. The pieces, the flaws, all those tiny trademarks that made me. They’re gone. Everything.” “I know.” “But why?” “Who’s to say?” “How can that be your answer?” “It just is. Like all things, I suppose.” “I don’t know how I lost myself, how this person here with you is even […]

Small Things

“It’s the small things I remember most, like how she loved  to take pictures.  Of everything. It’s strange how I can still see the light bloom in her eyes when she saw something beautiful. I was always the kind of guy who just let the moment sink into a memory, but she always wanted to […]

It Happened–A Conversation in My Head

“The sun will go down soon.” “When?” “An hour or less.” “So that’s how much time we have?” “Yes.” “I don’t think it will be long enough.” “For what?” “To show you, to tell you-” “Tell me what?” “How it all felt like a dream, one where you don’t want to wake up. How you […]

Lunch Date: A Conversation in My Head 

“I was thinking about something you said.” “Oh, yeah?” “Yeah. You asked if we’d ever been just friends, and I’ve been thinking about that.” “And what have you concluded?” “I think we’ve always been whatever this is. I mean, when I first met you, I was attracted to you. I remember that.” “So do I.” […]

Looking: A Conversation in My Head 

“Have you stopped yet?” “Stopped what?” “Looking.” “For what?” “For me.” “Why does it matter?” “It doesn’t, not really.” “Then why did you ask?” “Curiosity, of course. Why else?” “I look. Still.” “Why do you look?” “Why do you ask so many fucking questions?” “Why are you being petulant again?” “Because I no longer belong […]

Homecoming: Another Conversation in My Head 

“Why haven’t you written back?” “I didn’t know what to say.” “It was a simple question.” “So you say.” “How are you? It’s not hard.” “I’m fine.” “You’re a fucking liar.” “Fuck you.” “We tried that. It didn’t work out.” “No. You left.” “Yes, that’s true. Are you still affected by that?” “More fucking questions.” […]

Goodbye: A Conversation in My Head

“It’s over now, isn’t it?” “Yes, I believe so.” “All of it? The talking too? Because that’s what I miss out of everything.” “We can still talk. How are you dealing with the rest of it?” “Better than I could be. Worse than I should be.” “How do you mean?” “I mean that it hurts, […]