Bad Choices Meet Anxiety

It’s pulling me, dragging me, yanking my skin from my bones in tiny tremors, and I can’t stop doing things to make it worse. Each step ignites even more aching shudders, ones that drive spikes into my eyes until I scream out, knowing that each bite is my own, each sour drop of pain began […]

Zero

What am I supposed to do? It’s fucked. The whole thing. You want black and white, and give me only gray, yet I’m to choose. This or that. All or nothing. And I want all, but fear bites at my heels and you provide zero comfort. Your idea of reassurance is silence, and anxiety suffocates […]

Beer and Movies

The damp southern air slid over her skin creating a slick layer of ocean mixed with sweat on her arms. She looked out the car window for the distant breeze rustling the palms across the way and wondered at the idea that she was finally there or here, if she wanted to get technical. The […]

Crazy–A Conversation in My Head 

“What are we doing here?” “I don’t know. It’s fucking crazy. That’s all I know.” “I know it is. So why? Shouldn’t we be running the other way, swimming upstream instead of letting the rapids pull us under?” “Yeah, but we’re not. Falling is much easier than fighting. I should know.” “You’ve been fighting your […]

Let Me Out

The voices in the basement scream with raw throats, breath catching in warped lungs empty of hope, and I can hear them scratching at the door, begging to be let out, so I listen, I reach in, and grasp their noise with bleeding fists, and I let them out. I watch as they emerge on […]

Lunch Date: A Conversation in My Head 

“I was thinking about something you said.” “Oh, yeah?” “Yeah. You asked if we’d ever been just friends, and I’ve been thinking about that.” “And what have you concluded?” “I think we’ve always been whatever this is. I mean, when I first met you, I was attracted to you. I remember that.” “So do I.” […]

Cart and Rope

I always put the cart before the horse, as they say, or perhaps take a leap and realize I never hung the rope. It’s in my blood–irrationality, chaos, running. My parents ran–away from others, away from each other, away from us. We’ve all just been running through fire for so long that each step is […]