Normal

My normal has disappeared. My brain has betrayed me. I wonder if this is how my dad felt, if this is how it started for him. Little tremors, moments of forgetting, stumbling, stuttering, failing. I can no longer get excited or feel afraid which is ironic considering I’m an anxiety-ridden mess. And people talk to […]

Mortal

It’s climbing a mountain covered in ten feet of snow. My muscles burn through the frigidity, through my clothes, but I keep going despite the fire building in my lungs, the weight of my body clinging to each labored step. Crevasses flower under my toes, their itchy fingers hungry to suck me in, taste my […]

Deathbed

“Do you think people will come?” “Of course they’ll come. You are important.” “Not that important. So many others have done so much more.” “You’re wrong. They’ll come. I promise.” “Do you think he will come?” “Did you tell him?” “No.” “Then, how will he know to come?” “I’m sure he’ll see it on Facebook […]

Anything Else

I just want to talk about anything else. Anything besides my heart and its sadness. Anything besides this loss. It’s all so awkward and awful. People giving condolences and hugs when you randomly start crying. They mean well. We all do. But it’s just so awful. On both sides. Give me someone who will talk […]