The First

Suddenly, old is new again, and I’m not sure how it happened. Like fate or kismet or some kind of coincidence that can’t be coincidental. I remember his strong hands, the arms that held me up, that pushed me down and made me feel alive when I seemed underwater, when I seemed lost in trying […]

Rain

Our passion painted the windows with our breath, our steam, our release after so much wanting, so much heat that the rain outside felt warm instead of pinpricks of ice on my skin. Feeling your flesh flat against mine, it was as if the summer sun pounded against my body instead of the dark drops […]

On Fire

It’s not about commitment or love or even attraction. It’s about simply feeling something. When he puts his hands on me, his mouth against my skin, he makes me feel because I don’t anymore. I feel anxious and sad and scared, but that’s it. I walk around in those three modes and exist. But when […]

IDK

The ache radiates from unknown places, and I’m not sure what I’ve become because I’m sad for losing something I should never have wanted, something I shouldn’t need. Something is broken inside me, falling into dark shadows toppling through shattered windows or doors or something I’m not sure how to name. But now I’m making […]

Unsafe

The danger dances on my tongue. I can feel its liquid steps walking, stomping on my will, carousing with the butterflies in my belly, and I wonder if it’s always felt this way, if the craving always feels unsafe, warm but unknown, sweet but terrifying. Torture waltzes through my blood, and I realize it’s just […]