It Never Stops

Buzzing, a hammering in my brain but deeper. Shaking, twisting around my insides, and I just need it to stop. I scream for it to stop. “You did nothing wrong!” “Everything’s fine!” But it screams right back in my face and I somehow know it’s right. I’m waiting for the basket to get too full, […]

Crisis

Suffer, bleed, weep until sanity seems distant, fractured, beyond. Suffer, scream until it’s over, until I am no more. Arrows, wooden stakes made from splintered words, they gouge out my heart in inch-sized pieces until I am only shadows, miniature versions of those pictures you have in your room, hidden in boxes behind walls of […]

Yes

Air, so much air, and breathing, the weight vanishing, its suddenness– a gasp, bright, ferocious, the freedom and peace, they descend, hover, collide, sweep me in blooms of oceans and vast forests of beautiful echoes. One word, no three, or four, but they released me, pegged me, folded me until I floated. Yes. I breathed […]

Dancing: A Conversation in My Head 

“I love this song.” “It’s a good one.” “You should dance with me.” “That’s not what we do.” “I know. But, so what?” “It might change things for you in ways that are dangerous.” “I know, but anything with you is.” “True. But you know my thoughts on us moving past our agreed upon relationship.” […]

Wanted: Guide to Life 

I need the instructions, a book to tell me what to do. Some sort of manual with directions not so obscure as religion and its insistence on faith. I don’t do faith. Life has taught me better. But a textbook would be nice, something with lessons and practical applications. Because I can’t see straight and […]

Human: A Journal Entry 

To those who listen: It’s not the same anymore. I’m not excited in all the ways that matter. I’ve tried to be, to find ways to make me want to, to make me interested, but it’s like before. My body rejects people. Physically rejects them. When the heat is gone, the thing, whatever it might […]