Wanted: Guide to Life 

I need the instructions, a book to tell me what to do. Some sort of manual with directions not so obscure as religion and its insistence on faith. I don’t do faith. Life has taught me better. But a textbook would be nice, something with lessons and practical applications. Because I can’t see straight and […]

Human: A Journal Entry 

To those who listen: It’s not the same anymore. I’m not excited in all the ways that matter. I’ve tried to be, to find ways to make me want to, to make me interested, but it’s like before. My body rejects people. Physically rejects them. When the heat is gone, the thing, whatever it might […]

No. More.

A cavern. No. Bigger. A canyon cracked its way through my chest, and it cut my heart in half. Or maybe smaller. It bulldozed, slaughtered my heart, crumbled it into a million particles, and it drug them across my body and out into the air. Now I am holes. No. Emptier. Black holes of forgotten […]

Therapy: A Journal Entry

To those who listen: Today, I thought about writing a journal entry instead of a poem, but it’s different to write my thoughts without their metaphor blankets, to see my words bare and raw in their truth instead of swirled between symbols and line breaks, pauses and similes that hide what I’m really trying to […]

Anxiety

This pain twirls around me, twisting until my breath shortens, my eyes bulge. Fast and faster, beating hearts fill my brain and I am swirling in the whatever this is, this agony stemming from dead branches already uprooted and turned to trash. Pieces chunk to the ground, ice-chip pain plummeting into shattered images mirrored in […]

Gone–A Conversation in My Head

“It’s gone. All of it. The pieces, the flaws, all those tiny trademarks that made me. They’re gone. Everything.” “I know.” “But why?” “Who’s to say?” “How can that be your answer?” “It just is. Like all things, I suppose.” “I don’t know how I lost myself, how this person here with you is even […]

Let Me Out

The voices in the basement scream with raw throats, breath catching in warped lungs empty of hope, and I can hear them scratching at the door, begging to be let out, so I listen, I reach in, and grasp their noise with bleeding fists, and I let them out. I watch as they emerge on […]

Ground

I am spinning. On a rocket-fueled gust of hurricane winds, I’m tumbling, plummeting on icy waves of a perfect storm. The handholds are fog, the saviors, smoke, and the ground grows close, so close that I can smell my blood in the grass, my bones mixed with dirt. Rescue me. Someone. Save me from myself. […]

Facade

I’m sad and I’m missing you but I don’t really know who you are anymore. Which part do I long for? Whose arms can I almost feel enveloping me in warm safety, in serenity made from skin, from bones and soft eyes and all the things that make you human, that make you you? I’m […]