The First

Suddenly, old is new again, and I’m not sure how it happened. Like fate or kismet or some kind of coincidence that can’t be coincidental. I remember his strong hands, the arms that held me up, that pushed me down and made me feel alive when I seemed underwater, when I seemed lost in trying […]

Rain

Our passion painted the windows with our breath, our steam, our release after so much wanting, so much heat that the rain outside felt warm instead of pinpricks of ice on my skin. Feeling your flesh flat against mine, it was as if the summer sun pounded against my body instead of the dark drops […]

On Fire

It’s not about commitment or love or even attraction. It’s about simply feeling something. When he puts his hands on me, his mouth against my skin, he makes me feel because I don’t anymore. I feel anxious and sad and scared, but that’s it. I walk around in those three modes and exist. But when […]

Words

Write something. Anything. Just get the thoughts out. Spill them onto these blank screens and plaster the world with your faulty words, your flawed ideas that hold together each breath, each step because without them, you are empty. Without them, you are lost among forests of stories sprouting up through dirty lines of mishmashed text, […]

Fighting: A Conversation in My Head

“I want to give you everything you’ve ever wanted.” “Why?” “Because I want to. Because I have to.” “I’ve missed you so much.” “I’ve missed you more.” “Not true.” “You want to fight me?” “Shut up.” “Then come here.” “Why are you looking at me like that?” “What do you mean?” “You stop sometimes and […]