Confessions to my Therapist: A Real Conversation

“I did something stupid. Again.” “Tell me.” “I spent the weekend, well, twenty-four hours, with this man.” “Why?” “At first, it was a way to get over that last douchebag.” “So, it didn’t stay that way?” “No. It was…different.” “How so?” “It was more. It was like I suddenly knew how it should have been […]

I’m So Confused

It’s worse to discover someone is not who you thought they were than knowing they were against you from the start. I can’t comprehend how one can transform like this, how you can say one thing and then blackout, go dark in an instant. You didn’t fade. You vanished.  And I don’t understand because I […]

Small Things

“It’s the small things I remember most, like how she loved  to take pictures.  Of everything. It’s strange how I can still see the light bloom in her eyes when she saw something beautiful. I was always the kind of guy who just let the moment sink into a memory, but she always wanted to […]

It Happened–A Conversation in My Head

“The sun will go down soon.” “When?” “An hour or less.” “So that’s how much time we have?” “Yes.” “I don’t think it will be long enough.” “For what?” “To show you, to tell you-” “Tell me what?” “How it all felt like a dream, one where you don’t want to wake up. How you […]

He Looked at Her

And then he looked at her.  After the talk had died away, he directed his gaze to her, exploring her face, her soul with his eyes, and she could feel him inside her, his words, his fingers, his mind. Her insides flipped over, and warmth spread out from her bellybutton and down her legs. Her […]

Ever Left

I’ve always been lonely, alone in a maze of my own thoughts, trapped in a cell of others’ making. I’ve always been alone. I remember the first times I felt it–taking care of my little sister,  wondering if I was doing it right, having no one to ask. I never had friends, not real ones, […]

Cart and Rope

I always put the cart before the horse, as they say, or perhaps take a leap and realize I never hung the rope. It’s in my blood–irrationality, chaos, running. My parents ran–away from others, away from each other, away from us. We’ve all just been running through fire for so long that each step is […]

More Conversations in My Head

“I miss home. The pine smell right after it rains. There’s nothing like it.” “How long has it been?” “Too long, man, too long. Fifteen years in July, but I’m goin’ back. I’ve got to see the river, the trees. For God’s sakes, Florida just isn’t the same.” “Sounds amazing. But I thought you haven’t […]

Made Up

“You’re thinking about her again, aren’t you?” “Yeah.” “Why don’t you do something about it?You’re always sitting here, reading her letters, wishing you could talk to her. Why don’t you?” “It’s not that simple. You don’t understand.” “Then explain it ’cause all I see are excuses. Just call her. She gave you her number.” “It’s […]

Road Trip

Sometimes when I’m driving, I pretend I’m on a road trip, in a foreign state or town. I imagine the houses are different and new, like something I’ve never seen. I drive down familiar roads with the windows down, wind swirling my hair into a tornado-mess, and the music up, bass thrumming through my bones. […]