Goodbye: A Conversation in My Head

Photo Credit: marielliott at deviantart.com

“It’s over now, isn’t it?”

“Yes, I believe so.”

“All of it? The talking too? Because that’s what I miss out of everything.”

“We can still talk. How are you dealing with the rest of it?”

“Better than I could be. Worse than I should be.”

“How do you mean?”

“I mean that it hurts, the loss of our contact, the loss of your voice, but I’m not totally falling apart.”

“Fair enough.”

“I hate when you say that.”

“I know.”

“But I miss it too.”

“I know.”

“Will we ever see each other again?”

“If circumstances allow it.”

“Do you think they will?”

“Perhaps.”

“You know, I didn’t realize how much I missed our conversations until I had them back, and now they’re gone again.”

“I missed them too.”

“No you didn’t.”

“I don’t lie to you.”

“I know.”

“We’ll still talk. Sometimes.”

“I know.”

“Do you?”

“I know that talking to you gave me a great sense of catharsis, as if I’d been waiting for you to come back so I’d have someone to tell these things to, but now that catharsis is over, and I’m floundering around without it.”

“You can talk to me anytime. I’ll always be here.”

“Do you mean that?”

“I never lie to you. Remember?”

“I remember.”

***

I always seem to be losing people. I regained and relost a close friend from my past recently. He was someone who meant a great deal to me, someone who helped me understand myself and the world, and now it’s not the same. He’s returned to that figment, that unreal person, and I’m sad. I don’t know how to deal with so much loss, so here is what I wish I could say to him, what I wish (or imagine) he’d say back.

~ Patience

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