The First

Suddenly, old is new again, and I’m not sure how it happened. Like fate or kismet or some kind of coincidence that can’t be coincidental. I remember his strong hands, the arms that held me up, that pushed me down and made me feel alive when I seemed underwater, when I seemed lost in trying […]

On Fire

It’s not about commitment or love or even attraction. It’s about simply feeling something. When he puts his hands on me, his mouth against my skin, he makes me feel because I don’t anymore. I feel anxious and sad and scared, but that’s it. I walk around in those three modes and exist. But when […]

Fighting: A Conversation in My Head

“I want to give you everything you’ve ever wanted.” “Why?” “Because I want to. Because I have to.” “I’ve missed you so much.” “I’ve missed you more.” “Not true.” “You want to fight me?” “Shut up.” “Then come here.” “Why are you looking at me like that?” “What do you mean?” “You stop sometimes and […]